It's 4am right now. I've just spent the entire night playing "call of duty" when i should've been doing some work or at least something else more constructive.
Playing games was supposed to take away the emptiness, lighten up my feelings and take away the stress. But it didn't help much. It's 4am and I can barely sleep.
I thought going out all day everyday would help, but it didn't either. Nor did eating cheesecakes 2 days in a row...
How can one be happy? Is there any shortcut? Happiness seems like a distant feeling now. Perhaps I am not capable of it.
A good friend told me it feels like dragging a huge rock along with you. but you gotta keep dragging and somehow someday the rock will be lifted and you'll see the light.
Would I do it all over again even if I knew it would be like that? Probably I would.
I guess life has its bottoms sometimes, and it can only move upwards from here right?
I hope....
Sunday, September 09, 2007
Friday, September 07, 2007
Boulevard of broken dreams
I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone
I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a...
My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah
I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone
Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a...
My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah
Ah-ah, Ah-ah
I walk alone
I walk a...
I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a...
My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone...
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone
I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a...
My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah
I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone
Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a...
My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah
Ah-ah, Ah-ah
I walk alone
I walk a...
I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a...
My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone...
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Welcome to my life
Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Horoscope
I never believe much in horoscopes. Maybe it's because the good things they predict never really turn out to be true! Well, anyway, since my birthday is coming up, I figured this weeks horoscope may be worth mentioning:
A close friend or family member is holding back on you, and you should do what you can to draw them out. It could be that they're embarrassed or in denial, but your gentle persistance should do the trick.
A close friend or family member is holding back on you, and you should do what you can to draw them out. It could be that they're embarrassed or in denial, but your gentle persistance should do the trick.
Chitty chitty bang bang
Chitty chitty bang bang! The fireworks pop as the last lights go off. And soon after the happiest period of my life is over. So what follows next? Misery? Emptiness? Or the calm in the eye of the storm?
Is it so difficult to just want to be happy? Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness is all we long for and all we dream for. But yet sometimes happiness has to be given up for a greater good. I never thought there could be any greater good....
Happiness comes gradually but ends abruptly, its just like the stock market. Did you see how the STI rose to record highs steadily and come crashing down within 2 weeks? It's like an avalanche crushing down on you, breaking your bones and squeezing the soul out of your body! Just when you thought you were reaching 7th heaven skiing down the black diamond....
Its past 5am and the radio is playing "i wish that i could turn back the clock". How appropriate, turn back the clock and slo mo the good times while skipping the bad ones!
On hindsight I never thought I could be that happy, so at least now I know its possible. Life goes on but it could never be the same again...
Why does the sun go on shining?
Why does the sea touch the sky?
Don't they know, it's the end of the world.....
sigh, I'm so fucked up...
Is it so difficult to just want to be happy? Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness is all we long for and all we dream for. But yet sometimes happiness has to be given up for a greater good. I never thought there could be any greater good....
Happiness comes gradually but ends abruptly, its just like the stock market. Did you see how the STI rose to record highs steadily and come crashing down within 2 weeks? It's like an avalanche crushing down on you, breaking your bones and squeezing the soul out of your body! Just when you thought you were reaching 7th heaven skiing down the black diamond....
Its past 5am and the radio is playing "i wish that i could turn back the clock". How appropriate, turn back the clock and slo mo the good times while skipping the bad ones!
On hindsight I never thought I could be that happy, so at least now I know its possible. Life goes on but it could never be the same again...
Why does the sun go on shining?
Why does the sea touch the sky?
Don't they know, it's the end of the world.....
sigh, I'm so fucked up...
Thursday, July 05, 2007
4th of July
It's the time of the year again:
Oh say can U C
By the dawn's early light
What so proudly we hail
At the twilight's last gleaming
Whose broad stripes and bright stars
Through the perilous fight
Over the ramparts we watched
Were so gallantly streaming
And the rockets BLUE glare
The bombs bursting in air
Gave proof through the night
That our flag was still there
Oh say does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O'er the land of the free
And the home of the BEARS!!!
Go bears! :P
Oh say can U C
By the dawn's early light
What so proudly we hail
At the twilight's last gleaming
Whose broad stripes and bright stars
Through the perilous fight
Over the ramparts we watched
Were so gallantly streaming
And the rockets BLUE glare
The bombs bursting in air
Gave proof through the night
That our flag was still there
Oh say does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O'er the land of the free
And the home of the BEARS!!!
Go bears! :P
Monday, July 02, 2007
Sofisticat
Check out this personality test http://dna.imagini.net/friends. Here's what I got:
Mood: Sofisticat
You're adventurous and like to explore your environemnt. Nothing beats high altitude. You have a pioneering attitude to life- always moving onto the next challenge....
Highbrow, and in the know - you're experimental and sometimes a little unconventional. As for music, it's the soundtrack to your world....
Fun: conqueror
Oh - insatiable! Your thirst for affection never drops. You've got a high sex drive and appetite for lurve. For kicks nothing beats an adrenalin rush. You like to take risks and push limits. You're confident and brave - life is for the living...
Holidays... (are) a chance to explore activities that you don't have the time for in day-to-day life. What grosses you out? You like things to be clean...
Habits: New wave puritan
You never ave enough rest...
Your choice of drink reveals an extravagant taste...
As for the home, you have very cool and contemporary taste and see yourself as a bit of a trend setter. You like your surroundings to be simple and as stylish as you.
Love: Touchy feely
A strong friendship is the bst basis for any loving relationship. You like to be able to share your whole life with your friends, family and your partner. When you think of freedom -- you think of energy and activity, exploring your boundaries and pushing limits.
Mood: Sofisticat
You're adventurous and like to explore your environemnt. Nothing beats high altitude. You have a pioneering attitude to life- always moving onto the next challenge....
Highbrow, and in the know - you're experimental and sometimes a little unconventional. As for music, it's the soundtrack to your world....
Fun: conqueror
Oh - insatiable! Your thirst for affection never drops. You've got a high sex drive and appetite for lurve. For kicks nothing beats an adrenalin rush. You like to take risks and push limits. You're confident and brave - life is for the living...
Holidays... (are) a chance to explore activities that you don't have the time for in day-to-day life. What grosses you out? You like things to be clean...
Habits: New wave puritan
You never ave enough rest...
Your choice of drink reveals an extravagant taste...
As for the home, you have very cool and contemporary taste and see yourself as a bit of a trend setter. You like your surroundings to be simple and as stylish as you.
Love: Touchy feely
A strong friendship is the bst basis for any loving relationship. You like to be able to share your whole life with your friends, family and your partner. When you think of freedom -- you think of energy and activity, exploring your boundaries and pushing limits.
Friday, June 22, 2007
Friends song
It's been a long time since I've heard the "Friends" theme song on the radio. I guess that show is history now, and nobody remembers The Rembrandts. They still show replays all the time on TV in the US though! Just like they show Seinfeld reruns....
So no one told you life was gonna be this way
Your job's a joke you're broke your love life's DOA
It's like you're always stuck in second gear
When it hasn't been your day your week your month, or even your year!
So no one told you life was gonna be this way
Your job's a joke you're broke your love life's DOA
It's like you're always stuck in second gear
When it hasn't been your day your week your month, or even your year!
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Lemon tree
This song kept coming into my head so I figured I'd blog on it. Reminds me of the time I lived in a house with a lemon tree. Never quite figured out what to do with the lemons though, I'm not much of a cook when it comes to lemons!
942 Cerrito street, Albany. That was a beautiful place, almost a dream home. Guess I was really young and innocent then, didn't know how tough it'd be to cut the grass and clean up the fallen plums every summer. Living in a house with a garden and back yard is not what I'm used to in Singapore! I never went to home depot so many times in my life!
I'm sitting here in the boring room
It's just another rainy Sunday afternoon
I'm wasting my time
I got nothing to do
I'm hanging around
I'm waiting for you
But nothing ever happens and I wonder
I'm driving around in my car
I'm driving too fast
I'm driving too far
I'd like to change my point of view
I feel so lonely
I'm waiting for you
But nothing ever happens and I wonder
I wonder how
I wonder why
Yesterday you told me 'bout the blue blue sky
And all that I can see is just a yellow lemon-tree
I'm turning my head up and down
I'm turning turning turning turning turning around
And all that I can see is just another lemon-tree
I'm sitting here
I miss the power
I'd like to go out taking a shower
But there's a heavy cloud inside my head
I feel so tired
Put myself into bed
Well, nothing ever happens and I wonder
Isolation is not good for me
Isolation I don't want to sit on the lemon-tree
I'm steppin' around in the desert of joy
Baby anyhow I'll get another toy
And everything will happen and you wonder
I wonder how
I wonder why
Yesterday you told me 'bout the blue blue sky
And all that I can see is just another lemon-tree
I'm turning my head up and down
I'm turning turning turning turning turning around
And all that I can see is just a yellow lemon-tree
And I wonder, wonder
I wonder how
I wonder why
Yesterday you told me 'bout the blue blue sky
And all that I can see, and all that I can see, and all that I can see
Is just a yellow lemon-tree
942 Cerrito street, Albany. That was a beautiful place, almost a dream home. Guess I was really young and innocent then, didn't know how tough it'd be to cut the grass and clean up the fallen plums every summer. Living in a house with a garden and back yard is not what I'm used to in Singapore! I never went to home depot so many times in my life!
I'm sitting here in the boring room
It's just another rainy Sunday afternoon
I'm wasting my time
I got nothing to do
I'm hanging around
I'm waiting for you
But nothing ever happens and I wonder
I'm driving around in my car
I'm driving too fast
I'm driving too far
I'd like to change my point of view
I feel so lonely
I'm waiting for you
But nothing ever happens and I wonder
I wonder how
I wonder why
Yesterday you told me 'bout the blue blue sky
And all that I can see is just a yellow lemon-tree
I'm turning my head up and down
I'm turning turning turning turning turning around
And all that I can see is just another lemon-tree
I'm sitting here
I miss the power
I'd like to go out taking a shower
But there's a heavy cloud inside my head
I feel so tired
Put myself into bed
Well, nothing ever happens and I wonder
Isolation is not good for me
Isolation I don't want to sit on the lemon-tree
I'm steppin' around in the desert of joy
Baby anyhow I'll get another toy
And everything will happen and you wonder
I wonder how
I wonder why
Yesterday you told me 'bout the blue blue sky
And all that I can see is just another lemon-tree
I'm turning my head up and down
I'm turning turning turning turning turning around
And all that I can see is just a yellow lemon-tree
And I wonder, wonder
I wonder how
I wonder why
Yesterday you told me 'bout the blue blue sky
And all that I can see, and all that I can see, and all that I can see
Is just a yellow lemon-tree
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Crab Bee Hoon
Yesterday I tried crab bee hoon at the Punggol Kopitiam. Okay, Punggol Kopitiam isn't exactly in the most happening part of town, but at least when I told the taxi driver, "the one near punggol plaza, got crab one" he knew what I was talking about.
So what exactly is it like? Basically its thick bee hoon in milky broth, kinda like the fish bee hoon ya know? And with crab meat boiled together in it. I suppose you can imagine what the absolutely yummy broth would taste like! And we had some scallops and asparagus dish on the side, guess we needed some healthy food to go with the high cholesterol.....
Do I like crabs? Yeah I do! Especially those that are fresh and cold which you can find at Tomales Bay in the Bay area. I guess asian style with lots of gravy and broth is good too, but fresh boiled and cold you can really taste the freshness of the meat! Sweet freshness. Just like the 10 lb spider crab I ate in Oxnard, SoCal, absolutely fantastic!
Somebody I know who's associated with crabs has broke his bond and gone far far away. Guess I won't be seeing him for a long time. Come to think of it, the last time I had crabs with him I think we were still in California! Seems like such a long time ago now....
So what exactly is it like? Basically its thick bee hoon in milky broth, kinda like the fish bee hoon ya know? And with crab meat boiled together in it. I suppose you can imagine what the absolutely yummy broth would taste like! And we had some scallops and asparagus dish on the side, guess we needed some healthy food to go with the high cholesterol.....
Do I like crabs? Yeah I do! Especially those that are fresh and cold which you can find at Tomales Bay in the Bay area. I guess asian style with lots of gravy and broth is good too, but fresh boiled and cold you can really taste the freshness of the meat! Sweet freshness. Just like the 10 lb spider crab I ate in Oxnard, SoCal, absolutely fantastic!
Somebody I know who's associated with crabs has broke his bond and gone far far away. Guess I won't be seeing him for a long time. Come to think of it, the last time I had crabs with him I think we were still in California! Seems like such a long time ago now....
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Thank you
My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I
Got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window
And I can't see at all
But even if I could it would all be grey
With your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad, not so bad....
I want to thank you
For giving me the best days of my life
Oh, just to be with you
Is having the best day of my life
Drank to much last night got bills to pay
My head just feels in pain
I missed the bus and there'll be hell today
I'm late for work again
But even if I'm there they'd all imply
That I might not last the day
And then you called me
And it's not so bad, not so bad...
Push the door I'm home at last
I'm soaking through and through
And then you handed me a towel
And all I see is you
Even if the house falls down now
I wouldn't have a clue
Because you're near me
And it's not so bad, not so bad...
Erm, I'm not sure if anyone wouldn't have a clue if the house falls down? Fire, earthquake or hurricane, take your pick, but I'd certainly run for my life haha! Otherwise I think it's a beautiful song. Relationships IMHO are all about being there for each other, as much of the time as possible, so that in the bad times it's "not so bad" and when its the good times, its "oh so good"!
I took a walk around bugis junction tonight and it was surprisingly empty. True it's a weekday night, but usually Thursday is more crowded. I used to hang out in this neighbourhood all the time cos YW lived few blocks away. Always convenient to drop by his place for Sam Adams and to just hang out around there! Boy I miss those good 'ol days! YW you better entertain me if I ever come to London!
Forrest is gonna be in town tomorrow. This chap is a friend of a friend from Bay Area who happens to be working in the Tsunami rebuilding project in Aceh. Its quite a long shot from the Bay Area to Aceh, and I really admire his courage and enthusiasm. Anyway I think he is stopping by Singapore on the way back to the US, so it'll be a fun time to meet up. And perhaps check out Cal drinks at Loof. Something tells me I'm gonna be at Bugis area again though haha....
I haven't watched much tv in a long time. Not sure what's on. Surprisingly, I never watched much when I was in US this time too. After we were done with stuff and finished watching the Daily Show and Colbert Report, there usually isn't much else left to see except SouthPark. Hmm, perhaps I don't really need TV in my life that much. Perhaps YW has seen the light.....
Got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window
And I can't see at all
But even if I could it would all be grey
With your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad, not so bad....
I want to thank you
For giving me the best days of my life
Oh, just to be with you
Is having the best day of my life
Drank to much last night got bills to pay
My head just feels in pain
I missed the bus and there'll be hell today
I'm late for work again
But even if I'm there they'd all imply
That I might not last the day
And then you called me
And it's not so bad, not so bad...
Push the door I'm home at last
I'm soaking through and through
And then you handed me a towel
And all I see is you
Even if the house falls down now
I wouldn't have a clue
Because you're near me
And it's not so bad, not so bad...
Erm, I'm not sure if anyone wouldn't have a clue if the house falls down? Fire, earthquake or hurricane, take your pick, but I'd certainly run for my life haha! Otherwise I think it's a beautiful song. Relationships IMHO are all about being there for each other, as much of the time as possible, so that in the bad times it's "not so bad" and when its the good times, its "oh so good"!
I took a walk around bugis junction tonight and it was surprisingly empty. True it's a weekday night, but usually Thursday is more crowded. I used to hang out in this neighbourhood all the time cos YW lived few blocks away. Always convenient to drop by his place for Sam Adams and to just hang out around there! Boy I miss those good 'ol days! YW you better entertain me if I ever come to London!
Forrest is gonna be in town tomorrow. This chap is a friend of a friend from Bay Area who happens to be working in the Tsunami rebuilding project in Aceh. Its quite a long shot from the Bay Area to Aceh, and I really admire his courage and enthusiasm. Anyway I think he is stopping by Singapore on the way back to the US, so it'll be a fun time to meet up. And perhaps check out Cal drinks at Loof. Something tells me I'm gonna be at Bugis area again though haha....
I haven't watched much tv in a long time. Not sure what's on. Surprisingly, I never watched much when I was in US this time too. After we were done with stuff and finished watching the Daily Show and Colbert Report, there usually isn't much else left to see except SouthPark. Hmm, perhaps I don't really need TV in my life that much. Perhaps YW has seen the light.....
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Into the Ocean end it all
Somebody called me a float. Float? Well, I think it was supposed to be a bad thing. A float is something that is needed when one is in distress, but is otherwise not very useful. Floats are cheap and after you use it, you don't really bother about retrieving it.
I want to swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I am falling in the ocean
Let the wave up, keep me down
Let the hurricane set in motion
Let the rain of what I feel right now come down
Let the rain come down....
Then again if you want to swim away in the big ocean with a hurricane brewing you'd better want a float nearby! And hell no you won't discard it after using it! haha.
There has been quite a bit of turbulence in my life lately, and I am greatful for all the great friends who have lent their support. It always feels good to know that I'm not alone. Sometimes life's ups and downs makes me forget how to enjoy the music in my ear, the sound of the leaves falling and the wind in my hair as I skate down the park in the morning.... and especially all of them at the same time!
Is it worse to be miserable for a long period of time or to be happy one moment and sad the next over and over again? I always always thought that its worse to be miserable for a long period of time, because if there is at least a glimpse of happiness there is hope for the future. I guess I really don't know the answer to this question.
What is my greatest fear? It's not cockroaches or lizards of the fear of falling... Okay I hate falling, but I'd do it if I have to. I guess my greatest fear is loneliness.
I want to swim away but don't know how
Sometimes it feels just like I am falling in the ocean
Let the wave up, keep me down
Let the hurricane set in motion
Let the rain of what I feel right now come down
Let the rain come down....
Then again if you want to swim away in the big ocean with a hurricane brewing you'd better want a float nearby! And hell no you won't discard it after using it! haha.
There has been quite a bit of turbulence in my life lately, and I am greatful for all the great friends who have lent their support. It always feels good to know that I'm not alone. Sometimes life's ups and downs makes me forget how to enjoy the music in my ear, the sound of the leaves falling and the wind in my hair as I skate down the park in the morning.... and especially all of them at the same time!
Is it worse to be miserable for a long period of time or to be happy one moment and sad the next over and over again? I always always thought that its worse to be miserable for a long period of time, because if there is at least a glimpse of happiness there is hope for the future. I guess I really don't know the answer to this question.
What is my greatest fear? It's not cockroaches or lizards of the fear of falling... Okay I hate falling, but I'd do it if I have to. I guess my greatest fear is loneliness.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness
Yo everyone! Well, this blog's been kinda quiet for a while, I guess its some consequence of my life being a bit topsy turvy for the past month or so. Everyone goes through this phase at some point of time in life, so I suppose I'm no exception.
My estate is going on en-bloc sale. Or at least they are hoping to... If it goes through my parents will make a lot of money and will happily enjoy their retirement. That's IF it goes through. In the meantime the entire housing estate is just bickering, even on a Mother's Day night! Don't these people have mothers to entertain tonight?
Sometimes I wonder how my life is turning out to be. There's quite a lot of uncertainty in my life right now. To some extent I guess I should be contented that things finally seem somewhat alright compared to before, but somehow its still not clear where I'm heading. Can I ever be satisfied or at peace until its clear and certain which path my life is going to head towards? Just knowing the general direction doesn't seem enough.
Sometimes I try so hard to find a way to make things better. And sometimes I end up making things a little worse in the process instead, it can be quite frustrating. But then again, I guess life's all about laughing it off, picking yourself up and trying again. This process has probably made me a lot more thick skinned, though its really difficult to laugh sometimes.
Is it really the impossible that I wish to achieve in life? Fame, fortune or power? Those do not appeal to me right now. All I want is to be happy. To enjoy life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Perhaps it seems so near yet so far.
My estate is going on en-bloc sale. Or at least they are hoping to... If it goes through my parents will make a lot of money and will happily enjoy their retirement. That's IF it goes through. In the meantime the entire housing estate is just bickering, even on a Mother's Day night! Don't these people have mothers to entertain tonight?
Sometimes I wonder how my life is turning out to be. There's quite a lot of uncertainty in my life right now. To some extent I guess I should be contented that things finally seem somewhat alright compared to before, but somehow its still not clear where I'm heading. Can I ever be satisfied or at peace until its clear and certain which path my life is going to head towards? Just knowing the general direction doesn't seem enough.
Sometimes I try so hard to find a way to make things better. And sometimes I end up making things a little worse in the process instead, it can be quite frustrating. But then again, I guess life's all about laughing it off, picking yourself up and trying again. This process has probably made me a lot more thick skinned, though its really difficult to laugh sometimes.
Is it really the impossible that I wish to achieve in life? Fame, fortune or power? Those do not appeal to me right now. All I want is to be happy. To enjoy life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Perhaps it seems so near yet so far.
Monday, April 09, 2007
It's Amore
And there was Mary, and Rory, and Chris, and Amy and Sunil, and Hank, and Pan Pan and me; and we had lots and lots of pasta and sang "It's Amore!" That was the most wonderful gathering of Cal pals ever! Will we meet again? Perhaps.
Thanks everyone, for a wonderful evening at C&O's on Venice Beach! And all thanks to Mary for picking the place!
Monday, March 26, 2007
Back!
I'm finally back in Singapore after one crazy month in the US! Why crazy? Well basically it was work in the daytime, going out (mostly) at night, and road trips every weekend! I went up the LA coastline past Malibu to Camarillo one weekend. Followed by 2 days of skiing at Big Bear mountain the next weekend. Road trip from SoCal to Bay area, stopping at Monterey, followed by road trip up to the giant redwoods in Humbolt county on the third weekend. Finally in the last week we drove to the death valley, one whole round passing by China Lake Naval Weapons Testing Facility on the way back! Whoa! That's almost 3500 miles added to the rental car! I couldn't have made it alone, credit goes to a wonderful travelling companion who dared to go along with my crazy ideas. Now its time to get some sleep.....
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